I have only written three times successfully this whole year. I’d like to think it was because of all the crazy shit I got into, but it was just from lack of trying and no motivation.
Excuses aside, I dearly missed it even when my brain was not functioning the way I wanted it to. Incase you weren’t aware, I did in fact move back in with my parents in Bozeman, what used to be the bane of my existence is now my home again for at least another month. So I am gonna make this month count.
As I look out the massive windows on the main floor of the house on Monida Street, all I see is rain. If that isn’t ironic than nothing is. The mountains are now covered by clouds and fog and Old Lace & Ivory plays on the speakers. I have always loved listening to Into It. Over It. in the fall. I go to check my abandoned Facebook account and see a memory from one year ago. It is from one of my favorite days in Washington, an autumn day in Leavenworth. It is a small tourist town way up in the mountains off of Highway 2. I visited at least once each year but this trip was special. I had driven up the long way to see all of the changing leaves and listen to music. It was the off season so this sleepy town was full of only hikers and residents. Stopping into a familiar bar, I ordered a veggie burger, fries, and of course a Rainier. Becoming one of the most relaxing days of my time in the PNW it only seems fitting to see the memory on such a similar afternoon. A wave of nostalgia overcomes me as I sing along to my Fall playlist.
Your Lasting Image by Into It. Over It. plays.
This summer was a hectic one and there is no better way to unwind from it than October showing its face. Upon reading so many things on the internet about people loving this season I started to determine why I always have as well. I want to believe that it is just because of my love of the always spooky Halloween but I have a feeling it is much deeper than that. It’s not summer anymore but we also don’t really have to conform to the dread of winter yet. It is the happy medium that all of our over-processing brains and bodies need and without it we would be thrown into what would feel like a nuclear winter. I get to pull out all of my favorite albums from the fall before and get immediately pushed back into myself without losing everything I learned over the summer months. Also, everyone loves a good sweater, right?
So as I sit here, I type once again to ramble on about something very meaningless to most, but what feels like a revelation to myself and that is perfectly appropriate for the in-between. The fall of 2015 was about big changes and moving out to Bozeman, the next fall revolved around wine walks with my best friend and dark holes developing around us. 2017 made me remember the person I was the year before and allowed me to become comfortable with being alone while developing her, and on October 4th, 2018 I am just plain me just back in a familiar place for a bit. I am always grateful for all of the space beneath my feet that has carried me back here, but I am also über-aware of the time that slips as the leaves rot, fall, and scrape against the concrete.
Update: As I finished typing this, the sun broke through the clouds to shine brightly and dry the wet grass, the wind dying down to a dull breeze. I can’t help but think it’s a sign.
Thank you reading.
Stay Radical and Get Fucking Witchy,
Paige Alys
middlealys 